At The End.

You come home from work and your dog is excited to see you as if you left a year ago.

You get home from vacation and your cat acts as if they thought you left them for good.

Pets are part of our life, but to them we are their whole life.

Humans have families. Some are large and some are small. Some are close and others barely communicate. When we make an animal part of our family we spend more time with them than any other extended family member. They are there when we wake up and there when we fall asleep. We are their providers, their protectors, their whole world.

When we discuss death with our human family members, we can have conversations and make plans and alleviate each other’s fears. We as humans understand that even if we die alone somewhere, we have other humans who will miss us and remember us. When one of our pets is faced with the ultimate end, we can’t explain to them what is happening, to reassure them about what is coming and that they will be remembered and missed. We can’t alleviate their fear and confusion with a conversation. Our presence in that moment is the only comfort.

Just recently my parents came back to Michigan to visit and stay with me a few weeks. It was so nice to spend time with people I am close to but hardly get to see in person. One day the conversation turned to death, and their wishes when they go. We had some good laughs discussing the various methods of scattering ashes, and the methods to avoid, and we all know that when that time comes it will be sad but also comforting because loved ones will understand. The conversation prompted me to address death and our pets in this post, and how different it is than with a fellow human. How important our role as pet owner really is at that moment.

When my German Shepherd passed away two years ago it was sudden, unexpected and heartbreaking. He had a limp that progressed very quickly and he was soon diagnosed with osteosarcoma. I was advised that this is very painful for him, and they were amazed that he kept going as long as he did, as this was a fast growing cancer. He was my heart dog, he was my everything. And I truly believe that the love we had for one another kept him going despite the pain he must have been feeling. I felt like a terrible dog owner, like I failed him by not getting the diagnosis earlier. So the day we did the x-ray, and were told he can’t walk anymore because his bone is literally corroded by cancer, the kindest thing I could do was let him go. And it killed me. It still kills me. But I stayed and I hugged him. I was the last being on this earth that he felt, with my arms tightly wrapped around him. Crying into his fur and whispering into his ears. I truly lost a piece of my heart that day. But this wasn’t about me. I had to be there for him. To reassure him that he was not alone and to take away his fears. It is the hardest, but most compassionate thing we can do for our pets.

So many times I hear pet owners say “It’s too sad” or “I just can’t watch” as they leave the room and choose to remove themselves from their pets side. As someone who has personally euthanized many animals herself, and has watched her own pets being euthanized, I am here to plead with you….Please don’t leave them! Not at the end. Not when they’re scared and confused. Their end is not about you and your feelings. You have to be strong for them. It is the last piece of kindness we can show our beloved pets.

If you are fortunate enough to have the time to say goodbye, don’t waste that. So many pet owners find their animal after it has already passed. Missing that opportunity to hold them as they leave this world.

Grieve as you must. Don’t let anyone dictate the length of time, or the process of your grief. Losing a pet, to many, is harder than losing a human family member. Remember, we wake up with them by our side, and we fall asleep with them at our side. They are such a huge part of our daily routine that this missing puzzle piece is felt immensely and immediately.

It has been 2 years this July since I lost my heart dog. I visit his grave in the backyard often, and writing this post has tears rolling down my cheeks at his memory.

This is a short post, but one that I felt I really wanted to share.